My entire life I have been told that surrender is never an option. I was 7 years old when my Grandfather toook the time to teach me the most valuable leason of my life. He hung me up by a chin up bar and knowing that I was afraid of hights, he took the stool out from under my feet. Looking back I was only three or four feet off of the ground and I probably would not have been hurt if I had let go. “Grandfather, can I come down?”
“If you come down, you will be peeling potatoes for a week!” My Grandfather used my hatred for the chore to teach me the lesson. His point was that I could come down at any time as long as I was willing to pay the price. Jesus paid our ransom from the prison of sin. He wanted me to be willing to take responsibility for what I could have control over and be willing to offer up the things I had no control over.
I had to step out of my comfortable safe space and drop to the ground to feel safe on the grownd again. Once I did that I had to watch my Grandfather back up a dump truck filled with potatoes for me to peel. But the reward for paying the price was overcoming my fear of hights while at the same time taking away my Grandfather’s favorite bargoning chip. I started to have fun with the potatoes. With every spud I got faster and I tried to beat my time a little more. What was said to take a week only took a day and a half. My Grandfather smiled and told me that he was “proud of me for learning that the best way to take on a challenge is to meet it head on.” As I said our Savior took on to price for our burdens so we are free to hit the ground running with the conference that our debt is paid.
My friends, I have been the sickest that I have in the last three mounths than I ever was in the 43 years that I have been alive. Then one day I made the decision to just stop feeling sick! Some days are better than others. But if it is time for me to meet our Father in Heaven, then I welcome the opportunity.
The Truth About Control
Some of the most profound thinkers of human history had to come to the same conclusion, “Man has never been in control.” For a human weapon that is placed on the front-lines of a disagreement over lines on a map, the notion that he has no control over his destiny becomes all to real. I once told my wife about the tumor, we had to embrace the fact that there is so much in our lives that we do not have control over and be grateful that the one who gave us life still has the ultimate control.
No government that is created by men can have dominion over other men unless the men who they wish to enslave gives them the power to do so. Any man who is willing the submit to the elected authority of the masses rather than the will of God is guilty of worshiping false gods and is in violation of the first Commandment. “I am the Lord thy God, you shall worship no other gods before me” (Exodus, 20:3).
By allowing the stress that comes from the many things that we have no control over to be taken from us by the one who gave us life, we are free to heal both our souls and our bodies.
The one thing in a human life that can be thought to be certain is the fact that nothing is certain. The doctor was guessing when he said that I have two years to live. He can’t see what God has planned for me! So I choose to live. Our straingth as human beings comes from our awareness of self that can only be obtained by an acknowledgement of something grater than ourselves.
One day when I was too sick to even walk straight, my wife, Kansa, called over our Home teachers, she wanted blessings for the both of us for different reasons. At the time I was struggling with my faith as much as I was with my health. During Kansa’s blessing I heard my Grandfather telling me to stay on course and the memory of his childhood lesson came to the front of my mind.
I knew that any choice I made would have consequences and I also knew that it is never enough to just believe in God for even Lucifer knows that God is real. By overcoming any reservations that I had left, I was both willing and able to open my heart and mind to what ever direction the Holy Spirt would guid me.
Nothing the Doctors were trying was working and in a few cases the treatments only made things worse.Kansa was not taking the stress well and her health was being effected as well. Something had to give.
As I have said before I was raised to believe that to sorender was an act of treason and my Testimony was not growing as long as I keep that conviction. The Savior says that, “it is easier for a camel to walk through any eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to pass through the gates of Heaven” (Mathew, 19:24). Well that was me.
I wanted to be set in my ways and I did not want to give up many things. The exojesetic interpretation of the metaphor is that in the walled cities of antiquity would have one narrow gate that was just big enough for the camel to fit through. The venders were only aloud to use this gate for security reasons. But to get through the gate the vender would have to unpack the camel bring the camel through and risk the theft of his goods, only to pack up the camel again to get the the market place. It was a big deal but still possible. The gate was commonly reffered to as the needles eye.
Much like the rich man unloading his camle so he an get richer. If we are going to be able to hear the small voice that is trying to guide us, we must be willing to shut out the noises and destractions of the world. I am not perfect but I am finally after 7 years of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints, I am finding that my testimony of the fullness of the restored gospel of Christ’s atonement has given me a strength that I never had before. So if to serender is a sign of weakness then out of my weakness comes my greatest strength. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, All men shall stand in agreement.