Kansa has desided to leave me.

From day one with Kansa’s councilor, the friction has been extreme. He told her to leave me, and she promised to stay but she she is going back to see him for counciling. 

When I confronted her about it, say said that I was giving her an ultimatum. I see it as Kansa never thinking of my feels on the matter and just doing what she wants. In fact the first thing she did this morning was call Doug, knowing that thus would hurt me. I am trying to be understanding but I am feeling lied to and spit on by my best friend.

I have been feeling alday that she doesn’t care about our relationship and rhat I need to just move on. I have been prayi g about this and gotten nothing so fare. At this point I am feeling a bit suicidal myself.

I have no one to turn to and Kansa is not listening. She feels that I am being selfish for getting upset about her seeking help. I say if Psychiatry was a real science Kansa would have a valid argument. But anything she tells me about multiple personalities smiply offends me. It is as if she thinks of me as some naive child who would believe anything.

Anyway it has been a long day and I just want it to end. I am hopping to feel differentially after some sleep. Kansa wants me to come and see he tomorrow but I fear that I would not be good company after being lied to and taken advantage of. Someone please shoot me and take me out of my misery.

My world is crashing down around me. My best friend has went the way of my family. I am so alone. 

I am not doing too well myself right now. I have always had Suicidal Tendencies the difference is I learned to recognized what was happening and surround myself with people my issue right now is I can’t find anybody to stay with. Being alone is dangerous for me at this piont. 

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